Amelia wakes up late at night thinking about Ramda before eventually falling back to sleep and then wakes up later for some heated herm shenanigans before getting ready for work. Cuber returns after running an errand for Ezzie that has the potential to change Amelia's life drastically for the better.


Remiel's Enlightenment - Chapter 14
by Zmeydros (Elara Singlais)
(Edited by Tiliquain, Ramda Singlais, Sadie Singlais, and WolfLeah)

We'd had so much herm sex in so many positions that we'd collapsed into bed pretty early. At midnight, I woke up on my back with a need to use the restroom. I really didn't want to get up because I had no idea how I was going to extract myself without disturbing them, my body was exhausted, and it was the most comfortable I'd been in ages. Ezzie's arm was just under my tits and Aeidou's tail was laying across my crotch with the end hooked around my thigh. 

Gently moving their limbs took a good minute and I almost squealed from how adorable they were as they made little noises and shifted. I had to slide up toward the headboard and get out from under the blankets before I could scoot toward the foot of the bed. As I stood up, I stifled a gasp when my simulated tits got tugged on by gravity. Walking to the restroom, I felt like giggling with happiness as my boobs continued their conversation with gravity. I couldn't wait until I had a pair of my own.

My apartment came with these tiny, faint red lights hidden in the trim where the floor met the walls. These lights only turned on when someone was moving around, so they were a perfect night time safety measure and I'd adjusted their intensity so it was just enough light for me to avoid stubbing my toes in the dark. I liked them a lot because they reminded me of the navigation strips that ran along the edges of the floors on the Pixie.

When I got back from the restroom, both Ezzie and Aeidou were sound asleep. I moved like a sloth in an effort to get back between them without rousing them. When I was under the covers again, I conformed to Aeidou's side while Ezzie's front was facing me, her arms awkwardly between us. 

Ezzie let out a little groan as she laid her right arm atop mine. Then she kissed the back of my head as she pressed her equine package and breasts against me. As she interlaced her fingers with mine, I teared up a bit. I felt so loved despite the fact that I knew Ezzie and I weren't a couple. Her affection was raw and nurturing while the sex we'd had was up there with what I'd done with Ramda. Aeidou was incredible too and her Lezveioan cocks were beyond cool, but sex didn't seem to mean quite as much to her as it did to Ezzie, me, and Ramda. I had a feeling I'd have to be intimate with Aeidou twenty more times or wake up next to her for a month before she'd start getting sentimental. Given Lezveioan social norms when it came to intimacy, it wasn't surprising she was slower to get close to people.It wasn't all that surprising given that Aeidou was a Lezveioan.

Come to think of it, Ramda was less like me and Ezzie and more like Aeidou without the excuse of being an alien. Beyond teasing me and helping open my eyes to who I really was, I wasn't sure Ramda cared. And it wasn't just me she didn't seem to care about. She was currently ghosting me, Aeidou, and Ezzie while providing no details about what had happened to the crewmembers that were being replaced. 

Maybe a lot of bad stuff had happened after I left the ship? Ezzie had said that Ramda was quiet when it came to bad news. She'd also made a good point about reaching out and I needed to stop ruminating in the middle of the night and just send Ramda a message. *Hey Ramda. Haven't heard from you in a while and have been thinking about you. I've figured out that I want to be a feminine herm hybrid like you eventually. Probably not news to you, but it was news to me. I miss the messages we were sending back and forth earlier and want to get back in touch. If things are going badly on your end, I'm happy to listen to you vent. If you're too busy, just let me know you're okay. I am a little worried about you.*

Settling down was easy after that and I silently thanked Ezzie for the good advice as I drifted off to sleep. 

* * * * *

I woke up before my implant went off, staring at a two-inch-wide patch of green scales on the back of Ezzie's neck.  Letting out a long, slow breath, I relaxed, enjoying the feeling of Aeidou's sheath and balls, which were parked against my ass. Ezzie's ass, and partially-formed tail, were against my junk, making things extra cozy. The pertness of Aeidou's tits made them smoosh less against my back than mine were smooshing against Ezzie's, but they were nice and warm and still felt great. Her nipples being longer than human ones made them poke me more, even when not erect, but my brain didn't quite understand that and my crotch was getting warm. As my prick got hard, it rubbed against the scales on Ezzie's tail and I could barely keep myself still.

I don't know why I had a thing for tails, but before I could try to get out of the position I was in, Ezzie made a pleased moan as she started rocking her hips. Aeidou was moan-purring a minute later, her dicks pushing out of her sheath. That's when I gasped at how hard my cock was. 

Ezzie tilted her hips, moved her tail out of the way, and took my cock into her pussy. Aeidou buried her dicks inside me, making me cry out in ecstasy. By the time we stopped moving, there was a lake of cum on my spare set of sheets.

"Sorry about that, I'll pay for a laundry service." Ezzie sighed happily. 

"Mmm, I wish all that was inside me." Aeidou let out a rumbling purr-moan and shoved her dicks deeper into me.

"NGH! Don't worry about it, Cuber loves doing laundry and she hasn't ripped anything for a good while." I pulled on Ezzie's hips and gasped as I pressed in as deep as I could. My erection was just starting to wane and I wanted to enjoy every last bit of this herm intimacy.

Ezzie moaned and clenched around me. "Mmm, surprised you were able to go again after last night."

"Me too, my thighs feel like they're going to fall off." I grinned with pride. It was hard to deny how much effort I'd put into making them feel good. Maybe their insistence that I was fun to have sex with had merit?

"Hope your pussy isn't raw after all the attention I gave it over the last twelve hours." Aeidou made a wave with the half of each of her dicks that she'd managed to fit inside me.

"HAAH!" I squirmed. "N-no, it feels fine, and you don't always have to call my back door my pussy. I know it's not nearly as good as one."

"Honestly, I like both tunnels for different reasons: the muscles, and textures are different. I know you'd prefer to think I was in your pussy, so I'm happy to pretend that's what I'm fucking."  Aeidou thrust, grunting. "And your pussy is especially fuckable!"

"GAH!" I was getting hard again. How was I getting hard again?

"You definitely have the libido of a trans girl who's found her people." Ezzie laughed as she started thrusting her hips backward to encourage my prick.

This time, after we all got off again, my body felt like a rolled-up carpet. I couldn't move and felt like I weighed a million pounds.

"Ack! You need to get ready for work!" Ezzie pulled off of me and got out of bed. Cum that had been dammed up by her lying on her side fell into the depression I was making in the mattress and wet my upper arm.

I squeaked as Aeidou pulled her dicks out of me.

Aeidou rinsed herself off quickly in the shower. As she was getting out, I opened the cabinet below the gray-and-white quartzite sink to get out the refill container for the hand soap. To my horror, one member of the butt plug set I'd gotten to prepare myself for bigger dicks fell out and started bouncing across the floor. I froze, turning crimson.

"Someone wants to get knotted by Ramda." Aeidou giggled.

My whole body heated up as I nodded.

"My dick's going to have a cool double knot when all's said and done. If you're a good girl, and train for it, we could see who's dick you like better." Ezzie cupped my balls and trailed her fingers on the sensitive skin behind them.

"Gah! Fuck!" I couldn't keep my hips still despite my aching thighs.

"The only way not to lose a competition with Ramda is to not compete in the first place. I'm sorry to say, but she has energy that's unlike anyone else." Aeidou patted Ezzie's shoulder.

"Fair. I'm just excited that Amelia's taking initiative." Ezzie looked me in the eye and put a bit more pressure on my prostate. "I want to be inside you someday."

"Haaaah!" I trembled, my body completely spent. Tingles were traveling down my arms and legs.

As Ezzie took her hand away, Aeidou caught me. My legs were so shaky it took me a moment to stand on my own. The amount to which I wanted Ezzie or Ramda inside me was truly embarrassing. Once I could move, I put the plug back in the cabinet and refilled the hand soap.

Aeidou went into the kitchen to start breakfast. Ezzie helped me hobble into the shower and we washed each other. I spent way more time on her wonderful equine balls than I should've. It didn't help that she groaned in delight whenever I nuzzled, licked, or rubbed them. While I shaved, Ezzie got herself off again and I couldn't stop giggling. Teasing girls until they were hard and needy was an absolute blast. 

My eyes widened as I looked at myself in the mirror: since when was girls having dicks completely normal to me?

I looked at my cock between my legs, my tits, my smooth, clean skin, and my long hair. All that sex, all the talk about being inside my pussy, the massive amount of support these two herms had given me... I saw a girl in the mirror even though it was my body I was looking at. Tears welled up in my eyes and then burned as they streaked down my freshly-shaved cheeks. Ezzie didn't say a word as she got out of the shower. She just hugged me from behind, her half-hard cock pressed up against my back.

"They're happy tears." I put a hand on her arm, stroking a patch of green scales. "I feel more like a girl than ever."

"I'm glad." She gave me a squeeze.

By the time Ezzie and I left the bathroom, Aeidou had made slightly burnt French toast and heated up leftover brats from last night. With some maple syrup, all of it was delicious and I ate a bit more than I should have. 

We were nude the whole time, something that would never ever happen on Trinity stronghold. Casual nudity was seen as a way of fostering impure thoughts and I couldn't help but feel a bit strange, and liberated by the time we'd finished eating.

When we started getting dressed, the moment I leaned down to put on my panties, Aeidou groped my ass. I giggled and shook my back end. Both girls smacked my butt cheeks, making me gasp. The weight of my tits felt incredible when I was leaning like this.

As I stood up, Aeidou pointed at my tits. "Sorry dear, but those are going to have to come off."

"Oh shit, I kinda forgot they're fake." My eyes teared up.

Ezzie hugged me tight.

"Is it just me, or does she remind you of Ichi sometimes?" Aeidou joined the hug.

I tilted my head, having no idea who Ichi was.

Ezzie laughed. "Oh my God! Yes! I kept having to remind her to take the breast simulants off and wash under them."

"Yeah, she just willfully forgot they weren't part of her every time she put them on." Aeidou shook her head. "I heard she's been seen with Contessa Stone, the owner of Ganymede Gardens."

They seemed so excited talking about Ichi that I didn't want to interrupt. She and I definitely had something in common: I wanted to forget the simulants were fake the moment I had them on too.

"Have you heard the album she put out with her psychedelic rock band?" Ezzie was grinning.

"Yeah, they're not bad, but I have to have a bit of alcohol, a sugar high, or something in me to really get into their groove. Their name is still the best part, 'Stoned Temple Goblins' has Ichi's fingerprints all over it." Aeidou giggled.

"Yeah, Ramda completely failed to hide her amusement at the name while she was refusing to give them a listen." Ezzie's smile faded and then her jaw set as she started to look rather frustrated, her brow scrunching as she showed her teeth. "Those two are the most stubborn, hot headed, idio--"

"Hold on. Who's Ichi?" I looked at each of them. My tears had stopped, but I was still shaky.

"Ichi was basically a wolf in the shape of a woman that brought out the wolf in Ramda while Ramda brought out the herm in Ichi. It was the only truly serious relationship Ramda's ever been in and it's also the reason Ramda has never tried again." Ezzie sighed.

"They were inseparable and then everything exploded. If we get into it further than that, you're going to be a couple hours late to work." Aeidou was staring at the floor, looking the most melancholy I'd ever seen her.

Ezzie was looking just as melancholy. 

"Geeze, okay. We'll put a pin in that for now, then." I carefully peeled the simulant tits off and handed them to Ezzie.

"Ramda initially bought these, along with a simulant wolf tail, for Ichi." Ezzie put the breasts on the bed and then her eyes went wide. "Oh! The tail's in the back of my closet. I gotta get that out for you!"

"Wait. They have simulant tails?" I asked way too loudly.

"Yep! The canine, feline, and the like, ones work great, but the prehensile ones have to be made really lightweight and aren't all that close to the real thing." Aeidou's ears fanned as she saw my excitement build.

"I'll make sure you go home with it the next time we meet, promise." Ezzie rubbed at my tailbone.

"Haaah!" I gasped, getting lightheaded.

"Probably should stop teasing you and let you get dressed." Ezzie let up and handed me my overtly masculine work pants. 

As I got into my work pants, I heard the door open.

Cuber's triumphant, 8-bit cheer got me and Aeidou to jump.

"Sorry, I sent Cuber on a little errand early this morning." Ezzie chuckled.

Cuber trotted into the room, her cube-shaped body and four, spidery legs looking as creepy and adorable as ever. A rectangular compartment on her side opened and, with one of her three-fingered hands, she grabbed an inch, by two inch, by half inch pill case. It had gold sides and beautiful purple, pink, orange, and yellow flowers printed on the top.

*You be girl now!* Cuber handed it to me.

I furrowed my brow and opened the pill case. Inside was a small blue-green, oval-shaped tablet with a crease in the middle and the number two stamped into it on the right side of the crease.

"That's a two milligram estrogen pill." Ezzie put a hand on my shoulder. "I'm glad they kept the look they used to have, even when they updated the formulation, because I love that blue-green color."

"It's definitely a pretty color." I couldn't look away from it. "It's so tiny."

"Hope I'm not overstepping, but I woke up a bit early this morning and remembered a lawsuit I heard about a few years ago. Miramanna was sued for completely disregarding Earth's patient privacy laws at their clinics. The case went all the way to the supreme court. Miramanna lost their right to run clinics on Earth and were banned from obtaining any patient information other than tests for illegal drugs. Estrogen and progesterone have been over the counter in the USA for a long time and aren't the least bit illegal." Ezzie gestured toward the estrogen tablet.

"Are you saying I can start taking hormones right now?" I swallowed because my neck was feeling very tight.

"Yep! But you don't have to worry about anything beyond today right now. My first estrogen pill made me feel more calm and centered. It cleared away mental fog I never realized was there. That said, there's no guarantee you'll notice. Some trans girls don't feel much until they're taking pills for months, switch to shots, get modded, or they're growing breasts and their dysphoria starts waning. But, today's going to be very hard for you, so I thought it was a good day to try your first estrogen pill and see if it makes your brain happy. "

"I see where you're coming from. It's not a bad idea." My hands were shaking. "Can't believe this is something I can just do."

"Honestly, it's wild that an amazing, life-changing drug that literally transforms your body comes in pills this small. I recommend breaking it in half before putting it under your tongue. It cuts the time it takes for it to fully dissolve to somewhere between five and fifteen minutes depending on how wet your mouth is at the time. Be sure you won't have to talk, drink, eat, or anything during that time. It is best if the pill never makes it to your stomach." Ezzie pantomimed breaking a tablet in half.

"I don't know about this." I felt like I was going to cry, scream in terror, and jump for joy at the same time.

"You don't have to take it." Ezzie grabbed both of my hands to steady them. "No pressure, you can just give the pill case back to me if you don't want to deal with this yet." Letting go of my hands, she held out her right palm, smiling softly. "No judgment here, girl. I know I'm throwing a lot at you."

Everything in me was telling me I was making a mistake, that I didn't deserve this, that this was too good to be true. But I still couldn't let go of the pill case.

"This one pill won't affect anything beyond today, but if you do get serious about starting hormones, you'll need to get a baseline gender care blood panel." 

"Oh?" I put the pill case in my pocket and put on my work shirt. There was no way I was going to get the courage to take that pill. No! I was going to take that pill! All this doubt, all this noise in my head, I had to fight it or I'd be miserable for the rest of my life.

"Just stop at a blood draw pod and ask for it. After that, you can start on a low dose of over-the-counter estrogen and progesterone while we figure out how to get you discreet government aid for gender care."

"So, the only thing I need to do before starting actual hormone therapy is get a blood test?" I tilted my head. "Wait, shouldn't I take T-blockers when I start too?" My random searches online had given me a very swiss-cheese idea of how any of this worked.

"Not necessarily. There's a competition going on in your endocrine system between estrogen and testosterone. Very often, testosterone spikes when lots of estrogen is introduced, but then it comes down on its own without needing T-blockers. Way back, when gender therapy first started, they always gave T-blockers right at the beginning, but not anymore."

"Thanks for this, seriously. Every time I look up trans stuff, I get so anxious that I'm lucky if I make it like five minutes before I have to stop. I feel so stupid." I sighed. "You mentioned a hormone competition. Does estrogen eventually win?"

"Neither of them ever truly wins because bodies of every gender need both E and T. Trans women, and even cis women, need a prescription when their T level dips too low. Some herms, and other non-binary folks, need higher levels of T to feel okay. Finding the right balance is a quest shared by everyone who embarks on a hormone therapy adventure." Ezzie smiled. "I figure, since we're not gender specialists, we should just start you on estrogen and progesterone first and see what happens to your levels. I started on both when a friend gave me some of her extra pills. I didn't take any T-blockers and it was incredibly good. But we don't have to worry about any of this now. I just gave you one pill to try if you want to try it."

"I do want to worry about it. If I don't get serious about starting hormones now, I'm going to chicken out, I just know it." I ignored the tension in my chest. "Is there anything else I need to know?"

"Blood clots are the biggest concern when starting estrogen. The gender care blood panel tests for clotting disorders and will tell us if there's any risks. If anything is off, we may need to get a hematologist involved, but problems with your blood would be covered by your insurance and anything talked about would be confidential. So you could definitely tell your hematologist about starting estrogen. Basically, I've researched what you can get away with given current laws and such. If you want to get started, the risks are manageable." 

Aeidou stroked my cheeks with her fingers as if I had whiskers there. "The gender care blood panel is definitely not covered by your Miramanna insurance. I've emailed you a gender-affirming care discount code that knocks the cost down to fifty credits or less."

"Okay, I'm due for blood tests for my yearly physical anyway. I might as well just do the gender care tests along with that." I nuzzled Aeidou's hands, sighing softly.

Ezzie gave me a hug, her naked breasts smooshing against my work shirt.

Aeidou joined the hug. "Just imagine, one day you'll have your own tits to go along with that beautiful cock of yours."

"That would be incredible." I bit my lip. "What if they catch me having extra padding in my chest or something?"

"Girl, if your tits get anywhere near big enough for that, we'll celebrate. Then we'll figure something out. It's also not something that'll be an issue for at least four or so months." Ezzie let go of me.

"But, I'm not safe, am I? What if they find my pills or figure out that Cuber's getting them for me or..." A thousand things tried to come out of my mouth at the same time.

"It's up to you to weigh the risk vs the reward on this. I think it's worth it, but I will support you no matter what you decide." Aeidou smiled.

"I really want to. I just. They probably are already concerned about who I'm having over to my house." I looked at Aeidou and Ezzie, realizing what I'd just said was something I'd overlooked. Inviting them over for dinner had been a huge mistake! They'd stayed the night and they weren't shy on social media about their sexuality at all.

"So what if they are? They can't prove what you did with us." Ezzie grinned. "They're only going to have circumstantial evidence."

"But they're the judge and jury here and I'm sure they've picked up on other things." My chest was so tight it was hard to breathe.

"You can explain us away easily. Ezzie's a physicist and you're interested in interstellar travel and I'm a Lezveioan, the alien race that provided the technology that aided their genetically altered plant research: the main source of their income." Aeidou took a little bow. "You're learning our ways to prepare yourself for higher positions in your company."

I took a couple deep breaths. "Okay, yeah, sorry. I was starting to panic."

"Sorry if the hormones was too much too soon." Ezzie grimaced.

"No, no. I'm glad to have the option to finally do something about all these feelings." I kissed the green scales on the chin of Ezzie's growing muzzle. "Thank you."

Ezzie grabbed me and kissed me, using her tongue until I was breathless. "You're welcome, dear."

"Given that you're looking into gender care and stuff, I think you should get on Signet. It's the most secure messaging app I've been able to find and everyone on the Pixie, and on my ship, uses it." Aeidou's ears perked up.

"Sure! I'll get that installed right now." As I downloaded the app, Aeidou and Ezzie sent me their Signet usernames. "Okay, I've got it up and running and both of you are now contacts."

"Perfect! Now I gotta finish getting dressed so we can get out of here and you can go get your blood tested." Ezzie picked up her bra.

"I want you to go in feeling like a goddess today." Aeidou gave me a hungry kiss. "That way, no matter what happens, you'll come out of this okay."

"Well, I feel like a goddess even though I'm in my work clothes, so that's something." I smiled. "You two are amazing."

Aeidou and Ezzie shared a glance. Then they stood back to back like a female spy duo and looked at me. Ezzie winked. "Anything for you, honey."

I giggled and then got ready the rest of the way.

With the constant reminder of Ezzie's pill box bumping against my leg, I made my very sore thighs carry me to the metro station. Every step I took toward work gave me a little twinge of anxiety. I needed to stand up to my bosses and actually get somewhere with them. Nah, I'd just do whatever they said. Like I always did, like I was taught to do from birth. 

Ezzie was right, I needed all the help I could get today and I had help in my pocket. All I needed was to get up the courage to use it.


END OF CHAPTER

I’d like to acknowledge my $20+ patrons: AJ, Arkona Kothe, Longhauler, Navajo Demar, Tiliquain, Warialinth, and Xaziana Tenebris for helping make all this possible. Thank you! Thanks to all my other patrons as well. Every one of you rocks!