Chapter 6 — Are You Trying to Confuse Me? _December 29, 2002, Chicago, Illinois_ 🎤 Steve {br} {psc} After dinner on Monday, my wives and I went to the Indian room to relax. "I'm curious why you offered the waiver," I said to Jessica. "I honestly don't think it would cause any problems," Jessica replied. "The same is true for the med students, given your seminars are optional and not graded. I totally understand making any NIKA employees totally off limits, but the hospital and medical school? No. That expands the pool of candidates, given your plan to implement a nobody under twenty-one rule, which I suggest should be eighteen." "With rare exceptions, though, right?" Suzanne asked. "Yes," I replied. "As I think about it, it could only be for 'cousins' whose parents wouldn't object, and honestly, there aren't many who've shown any kind of interest." "There really aren't that many of them," Kara observed. "Amelia Tarrance and Alexa Katsaros are twelve and Amber Penfield is thirteen, so even they are a few years away. I believe Amber asking is a sure thing, but I don't think the other girls have expressed any interest or even flirted." "They haven't," I replied. "And Amber, being Penny's daughter, will _demand_, not ask!" "True!" Suzanne declared. "And neither Stephie nor Ashley would tolerate their friends receiving an 'expert deflowering'." "As I said, the field is limited," Jessica interjected. "Obviously, it's up to you, Tiger, but as I said, eighteen seems like an appropriate floor, with those other exceptions. Girls that age are in college or working full time." "I was more concerned about the absolute age difference than anything," I replied. "You need your dose of virgin blood, Snuggle Bear!" Kara declared. "Eighteen will be easier than twenty-one." "Not the way the world is going," I replied. "But I will listen to my wives' wise counsel and take it under advisement." "Are the plans set for Saint Martin?" Jessica asked. "I spoke to the girls' moms today," Kara said. "They all gave permission, provided Steve and I chaperone, and we don't let the girls roam without supervision." I chuckled and said, "That's not going to go over well with Her Royal Highness, Birgit the First of Kenwood!" I chuckled. "I did get the moms to agree that the girls could go to the beach that's more or less across the street from the house," Kara said. "That should help." We were interrupted by the phone ringing in my study. I got up and walked to answer it. "Steve Adams," I said. "Hi, it's Nadia! We keep playing phone and IM tag." "Sorry about that. This time of year is very busy, and things were messed up by an emergency at work and my own failure to remember I had out-of-town guests arriving. Unfortunately, the next day I have free would be Friday, the 3rd of January." "I suppose that will have to do. Maybe I should just tell you what I want to do, because it sounds as if our schedules won't easily match up. I wanted to do it face-to-face to be able to gauge your reaction. OK to just tell you?" "Yes." "I have two fantasies. The first one is being a sixteen-year-old virgin babysitter and seducing the hunky dad when he drives me home and my parents are out." I chuckled, "The fantasy of every married guy who drives a nubile babysitter home, and probably quite a few of the babysitters." "I was tempted a couple of times when I was fifteen and sixteen to actually try to seduce the dads of kids I was babysitting, but I chickened out." "I never had the opportunity to seduce a babysitter or be seduced by one because we always had nannies for our kids. It sounds like fun. What's the other fantasy?" "It's the dark one," Nadia said quietly. "I fantasized about losing my virginity to an older guy while I was tied up." I was VERY uncomfortable with rape fantasies because of Bethany and Michelle, and I had turned down a similar request from Alicija Czerwinski, one of Birgit's grade school teachers. "I have a serious concern about non-consensual sex," I replied. "Even simulated." "You mean rape?" Nadia asked. "That's not what I mean. I'd beg you to do things, and you do them. Totally willing and totally consensual." "I'm curious about how that fantasy developed." "It's something that popped into my mind unbidden when I was thirteen and it became stronger as I got older. It's something I really want to do, and it's a fantasy that could actually happen." "Implying…" "That I'm still a virgin. I've made out some, in both High School and when I was getting my Associate's degree, but I never met anyone I felt I could tell what I wanted. Nobody but Danielle knows about either of those fantasies, and if I have to choose one, it's the one that would be real. I hoped you would be willing to do both. Danielle wasn't sure, but she said you were the safest guy she'd ever met." "Do you have both mapped out? The role playing and the dark fantasy?" "Yes. For the babysitter fantasy, we would start at your house, with you coming home with your wives, then role play you driving me home. You would take me to my parents' house so we can use the bed I slept in while I was a teenager. It's OK because they're on a cruise and don't come home until the 4th. For the other one, you come to my apartment, or I come to your place. I have soft ropes if you don't have any. I could IM you a script beforehand so you know exactly what I want and are sure it's consensual." "I need to think about that one, but the role playing one sounds fun. Let's plan for the 3rd, and I'll call or IM you about the bondage fantasy." "OK. Talk to you soon! And please don't cancel again!" "I do apologize for the circumstances." We said 'goodbye' and I went back to the Indian room. "That was Nadia, Danielle's friend," I said. "Interesting fantasies?" Kara asked with a smirk. I chuckled, "One I never had an opportunity to try — the virginal teenage babysitter seducing the dad who drives her home." All three of my wives laughed. "You did get two nannies!" Jessica observed. "Neither of them were virgins," Kara countered. "Winter was, but she wasn't actually a nanny, and she got Steve before we hired her as our domestic." "All true," I said. "It would be total roleplaying, and a lot of fun. Her other fantasy is dark — losing her virginity while tied to the bed. She insists it's not a rape fantasy and offered to provide the list of things she wanted done in the order she wanted them done in advance." "You turned down Alicija Czerwinski," Kara observed. I nodded, "Because it was quite clearly a rape fantasy. This one isn't so cut and dried. It's actually closer to what Elyse and I once did, where she had me tie her up and fuck her silly for hours." "How did Nadia actually lose her virginity?" Suzanne asked. "If you know, that is." "She didn't," I replied. My wives all laughed once more. "Luckiest Dumb Boy strikes again!" Kara declared. "She really wants to lose her virginity that way?" "Yes. She said the idea simply sprang into her mind when she was thirteen, and has been growing stronger ever since. That doesn't surprise me, the growing stronger part, because the more she thinks about it, the more she'd want to do it. For her other fantasy, she was tempted several times when she was fifteen and sixteen, but never worked up the courage to actually try it." "What are you going to do?" Jessica asked. "Think about it," I replied. "Obviously, the babysitter fantasy is something I'd do, but the other one is questionable." "We do stuff like that from time to time," Kara said. "And you did with Elyse." I nodded, "I know, but I still want to think about it. It's one thing to play the way we do, in a well-established relationship. It's another thing entirely with a random deflowering. In any event, I'll see her on the 3rd." "Is there anything we need to do before Jon and the family arrive?" "I believe we have everything we need for them, and for the party. Is anyone up for a sauna?" "Will you be up in the sauna?" Kara asked mischievously. "If my wives wish that to be so, then it will be so!" ————— {br} _December 30, 2002, Chicago, Illinois_ 🎤 Birgit {br} "What are you doing today?" I asked Dad as we cuddled in the sunroom on Tuesday morning. "Hanging out with Audrey, Brad, and Isabella until it's time to pick up Nalani and her boyfriend, Jung He, at O'Hare. You have your photoshoot today, right?" "Yes. Bob is going to shoot pictures of Meghan and me, and probably some with Kjell, too. Bob's friend Mariana is going to help." "Just remember the limits, please, Pumpkin." "The government needs to mind its own business!" I growled. "They aren't actually protecting me! THEY are the ones abusing ME!" "That is what your fellow citizens want," Dad said. "My 'fellow citizens' are freaking morons!" I declared. "Every single time someone says 'think of the children' they make things _worse_, not better!" "I don't disagree," Dad said. "That's the entire point of working under the radar with Philosophy Club and your Hangout." "It worked in the 60s, but I don't think it will work now," I observed. "9/11 changed things and now everyone wants to be 'safe' no matter how little actual safety they receive in return for giving up their rights!" "A daughter after my own heart!" Dad declared. I snuggled close, loving how safe I felt in Dad's arms. "I want to change my trip to New Hampshire to stop in New York City for one night so I can see Marcella," I said. "That's fine," Dad replied. "Your moms, Suzanne, and I are taking a long weekend in New Hampshire in April. Katy had a cancellation and offered it to us." Which made sense, given we were going to Saint Martin over Spring Break. I hoped Bob would be able to go, because if he couldn't, I wasn't sure who I could invite. I'd try Tomás, but his parents were very conservative. "Breakfast is ready!" Yuriko announced from the door to the sunroom. "Be there in three minutes!" I replied, tightening my arms around Dad and snuggling as close as possible. ————— {br} 🎤 Jesse {br} "What did you want to do today?" I asked Luna when she arrived at my house just after breakfast. "I thought that was obvious!" she replied with an inviting smile. "Is that all I'm good for?" I asked with a goofy smile. "You're a great goalie, too!" Luna replied. I laughed, took her hand, and led her up to my room. Two hours later, sweaty and sated, Luna was stretched out on top of me, her chin resting on her arms, which were crossed on my chest. "When does hockey practice resume?" "The 2nd," I replied. "And our first game is against Chicago Latin on the 11th. We play Saint Patrick on the 18th, and Lane Tech on the 25th. We play for the city championship on February 1st, assuming we win our group. You start your indoor practices in February, right?" "Yes. I don't think I told you that I'm going to room with CeCe in the Fall." "You didn't," I replied. "That's cool." "You guys are kind of on the outs, right?" "Once she decided to go to school in Arizona, it was tough to maintain our relationship. I'm not upset with her or anything, but I know she was disappointed that things kind of came to an end." "She's not upset with you, and she's been dating. And that means I don't have to worry about coming between you." "Now there's a picture!" I chuckled. Luna laughed, "A fantasy of yours?" "Been there, done that!" I smirked. "But the participants' names cannot be revealed to protect the guilty!" "Simone talked to me about a special Valentine's Day party." "She mentioned it to me, too, but we'd have to be VERY careful about who was invited. You'll be eighteen by then, and to be totally safe, nobody under seventeen could be invited if it's going to be like what Simone hinted. And even then, I'm not sure my dad would be OK with it, because parents would lose their minds." "Simone is only a Sophomore, so she wouldn't even be able to come to the party she wants you to host. She turns sixteen in March." "The only way it could work is either nobody under seventeen or nobody older than seventeen," I said. "Anything else opens my dad, moms, and aunts to all kinds of potential trouble. I honestly don't care what the government thinks, and age doesn't matter if it's just one-on-one, but once you have a group, there are too many variables." "Even if everyone promised not to say anything?" "I'm not sure how you could ever be certain," I said. "Again, one-on-one is different." "Forget the law for the moment, would you do it?" "Sure," I replied. "I mean, so long as we set clear boundaries and everyone agrees in advance." "I know absolutely for sure neither Simone nor I would say anything, and I'm positive Destinee, Shelly, and Elena would agree to keep it totally secret. I bet Pete, Jack, Freddy, and Tom would be cool about it, too." "Just out of curiosity, did Simone expect it to go beyond naked _Twister_ and dancing?" "I don't think she intended an orgy!" Luna declared. "But with ten people naked together, who knows?!" "An orgy would cross a line I don't think I'm prepared to cross," I said. "And even if I was, my dad isn't going to agree. If we were all over eighteen and had our own place, he wouldn't care. But society has its head so far up its butt about sex in general, and teen sex specifically, that the risk of doing something like that in his house is just too great." "Changing subjects back to college, are you applying anywhere except UW Madison?" "Minnesota and BC," I replied. "But I'm positive I'll get into UW." "Are you being scouted?" "Coach said scouts will be at the tournament, so I'm sure someone will talk to me at some point. That said, I'm pretty sure I prefer to play club hockey rather than Div I. I want to focus on school and do what I need to do to find a coaching, scouting, or management job with a pro team. What's your major going to be?" "Computers. Yours will be business, right?" "Yes, with a minor in computers." "What if you can't find a job with a hockey team?" "There are plenty of sports options, including baseball, plus, of course, entry level management jobs in non-sports companies. I have plenty of time to work it out! How about you? Silicon Valley?" "I'd love that! Obviously, Redmond, Washington is another option." "Microsoft? Really?" Luna laughed, "I'm not a Mac fanatic like everyone in your family! Once more before we shower and have lunch? Then a sauna?" "Works for me!" I agreed. ————— {br} 🎤 Steve {br} "What are your plans after graduation?" I asked Audrey as she, Brad, Isabella, and I drank hot cocoa in the sunroom. "Hang onto your hat," Audrey declared. "Brad and I are both going to seek commissions in the Navy." "I didn't see THAT coming!" I exclaimed in surprise. "What brought that on?" "Opportunities, really. Neither of us really like the job prospects, and after speaking with an officer recruiter, we decided we'll go for it. We haven't signed yet, but we'll do that once we get back to Columbus." "The Navy has been pretty good to many of my friends," I said. "Not to mention my dad. And Albert is going to try for an appointment to the Naval Academy. What about you, Isabella?" "Grad school for a Master's in International Relations." "You should absolutely speak to my friend Mary, who'll be here tomorrow. She works for the State Department. She's Chief of the Russian Desk. I'll introduce you." "Thanks!" "Did you guys have anything specific you wanted to do today?" I asked. "A sauna, for sure," Audrey said. "Otherwise, just hang out. Well, and Isabella hopes you'll fuck her brains out!" "AUDREY!" Isabella screeched. "It's true, isn't it?" Audrey teased. "That's outrageous, even for you, Audrey!" Brad declared. I chuckled, "She was almost as outrageous at her sister's wedding, so it doesn't surprise me." I also had taken note that Isabella was a beautiful Hispanic Steve type, but hadn't given any thought to her beyond that, and neither she nor Audrey had hinted at anything before the comment Audrey had made. "Audrey! I'm going to KILL you!" Isabella declared. "Oh, please!" Audrey protested. "You purposefully had an STD test before I came to Chicago, and you have the test paper in your pocket!" "Argh!" Isabella growled. "Dial it back a bit, please, Audrey," I requested. "Thank you!" Isabella exclaimed. "Audrey," I said, "I do have to ask — did you tell Brad and Isabella how we usually use the sauna here?" "It must have slipped my mind!" Audrey replied with a smirk. "Uh huh," I chuckled. "What are we missing?" Brad asked. "The norm for the sauna here is fully naked," I replied. "No bathing suits or towels. But if anyone is uncomfortable with that, we can use towels." "Adults, right?" Isabella asked. "Our family has very Scandinavian values in that regard, so kids, too. Both with the family, and some of them with their friends." "This place becomes crazier by the second!" Isabella declared. "My late dear friend Jorge didn't call it _Cirque du Steve_ for nothing! Or, as someone else called it, the Madhouse on Woodlawn." "Late friend?" Brad asked. "He was killed by a drunk driver just over nine years ago. My wife, the medical doctor, was in the car as well; she survived, obviously." "Man, that sucks. Did the drunk survive?" "Not this time, but that is a fairly common thing, unfortunately." We finished our hot cocoa and then headed to the basement. I was curious to see what would happen, and it totally didn't surprise me when Isabella and Brad both requested we use towels. Ten minutes later, the sauna was heated, and I ladled water onto the rocks. As the steam began rising, Yuriko and Natalie appeared at the door wearing robes. Without a word, they closed the door, and came in about a minute later with towels wrapped around them. "How were things at home?" I asked Natalie. "Pretty good, though Nicole told my parents she and Mikey are going to get an apartment together in Madison, rather than live in the dorms; well assuming they both get in there. You can imagine how that went over with my dad." "I can. Your mom was OK with it, right?" "Yes. She's known about Mikey and Nicole since it started; Dad just now figured it out, and he's not happy." "How old is she?" Audrey asked. "Sixteen, the same as Mikey and Jesse. They all played hockey together before High School." "Mind if I ask how old you are?" "I don't mind at all," Natalie said. "I'm twenty." "You're the one who's going to Russia for grad school, right?" Audrey asked. "I'm obviously not the one going home to Japan when I finish my degree!" she smirked. "Yuriko, what year are you?" Audrey asked. "Sophomore, but I'm twenty-two. I studied with my grandfather for two years before coming to the US, and I'll return to Japan after I complete my Master's degree in horticulture." "How did the two of you meet Steve?" "I met him in Japan when he visited the karate dojo where my best friend is the wife of the master, though then she was fifteen, and not yet engaged. Of course, I was a silly school girl at that point, and didn't see Steve again until I came to Chicago to study." "And I met him in Russia when I was fifteen," Natalie said. "The team Mikey, Jesse, and my sister played for was invited to play teams in Russia, and I went along. I fell in love with Russia, and decided to get a degree in Russian history with a minor in foreign relations then work on a Master's and PhD in Russian history at «Европейский университет в Санкт-Петербурге» — the European University at Saint Petersburg." "You both live here full time?" Isabella asked. "We're the live-in girlfriends," Natalie said with a sly smile. "Yuriko goes back to Japan each Summer, and this Summer I'm going to Russia for two months, but otherwise, yes, we live here." "Girlfriends?" Isabella asked skeptically. "Steve said 'housemates' when he gave the tour!" "Steve is circumspect with newcomers," Natalie replied. "But nobody hides that fact, right, Yuriko?" "Right!" Yuriko confirmed happily. "We both love him, and he loves us, but he cannot provide the two things we both need, or a third thing which I need. For both, it is to be a husband and father children; for me, it is someone who will live in Japan." "Three wives, kids by four women, and two girlfriends?" Isabella asked. "And the freedom to fool around!" Audrey declared. "Any tips?" Brad asked with a smirk, earning himself a faux glare of annoyance from Audrey. "Don't piss off the girlfriend," I said. "You'll live longer!" All the girls laughed. "The logistics must be 'interesting'," Brad observed. Natalie smirked, "We all know how to share! We learned that in kindergarten!" "Can I ask why?" Isabella inquired. "Because he provides what we need at this point in our lives," Yuriko said. "Love, compassion, friendship, intimacy, and companionship." "But don't mistake intimacy for sex," Natalie quickly added. "They're two very different things." "How so?" Isabella asked, Natalie smiled, "That's something we've discussed at length in Philosophy Club, but the short answer is true intimacy is the joining of souls, not bodies. When Yuriko and I each marry, we'll continue to be very intimate friends with Steve, though sexual intimacy will end. But that's really a pale, limited version of intimacy compared to the merging of «kami» — the animating life force, or spirit, or soul, if you will, though not precisely. "In most cases, though not all, what we call a 'mindfuck' precedes a physical fuck. That is, a long, detailed conversation designed to break down preconceived notions, open the mind, and forge a truly intimate relationship. Or, as someone said, opening the mind before opening the thighs. And that second thing doesn't always happen. Steve has several very intimate female friends with whom he has never had sex." "This is all just out in the open?" Brad asked. "More or less," I replied. "As Natalie said, we're a bit circumspect with newcomers, but we don't hide it. The ultimate goal is subversive — to develop a group of people who reject social convention, believe in freedom and liberty, and who reject Puritanism in all its forms, whether religious or secular, left or right. The same is true for authoritarianism. Fundamentally, people should be free to do as they please unless they harm another person or violate their rights. "A perfect example is my marriage. There is literally no harm done to anyone by Kara, Jessica, Suzanne, and me believing we're married, or Jennifer and Josie being married. My kids are all intelligent, healthy, well-cared for, and mature. Having a very extended family has actually been positive. Granted, it's a different form from the typical Hispanic or Oriental extended family, but it provides all the same benefits. "In addition, our kids are given near total freedom to determine the course of their lives, and have the autonomy to make their own decisions. All of them have run their own lives since they were toddlers, and very successfully, because we've taught that with freedom comes responsibility. Do they make mistakes? Absolutely! But then again, so do I. That's one of the most important ways to learn. "Anyone who thinks that my theory of child-rearing is harmful has to deal with the fact that Jesse is a star athlete and at the top of his class; Birgit holds a black belt in Shōtōkan and is also at the top of her class. Matthew is an excellent actor and singer, and is on the debate team, and is a very good student; Michael is on the robotics team and is also an excellent student. Albert is a pilot at age thirteen, though he can't get his license until he's seventeen; he's also planning on going to the Naval Academy, as I said earlier. Stephie and Ashley are both excellent students and both are brown belts in Shōtōkan. In other words, it works." "My parents were pretty controlling," Isabella said. "Have you heard anything here with which you disagree?" Natalie asked. "Not really, though it's pretty strange and 'out there'." "You should come to the impromptu Philosophy Club meeting tomorrow. You'll see what this is all about." The door opened and Jesse stuck his head in. "How much longer will you be?" he asked. "We're basically done," I said, standing up. The others stood up and followed me out. ————— {br} 🎤 Jesse {br} "What was with the towels?" Luna asked after I put the 'Privacy Please' sign on the door to the sauna. "I'm going to guess Audrey's boyfriend or friend wasn't comfortable being naked. There are some family friends like that, and my Aunt Stephanie's husband was squeamish about it when he first started coming here while they were dating. If you think about it, it's a pretty big thing for most people given social views on nudity and sex." "Speaking of sex…" Luna smirked. "Is that all I'm good for?" I asked with a grin as she moved onto my lap. "No, of course not! I said so before! But we have limited opportunities, so I have to make the most of the ones we do have! We do lots of stuff together that isn't sex!" I chuckled as I moved my hand to cup her firm boob, "I know that. I was teasing!" When we finished fooling around, I filled the whirlpool, and we got in, with Luna sitting between my legs and reclining back against me. "Some of the girls from the softball team want to come to your Hangouts. Would that be OK?" "Yes, though it's important to understand that we talk about pretty much any topic you can imagine, often in depth, and sometimes the conversations are R-rated, and occasionally even beyond that. And not just sex — drugs, abortion, racism, discrimination, and a host of other controversial topics. Basically, if you can't deal with a George Carlin skit, you shouldn't be there. And if your parents would pitch a fit, you have to be careful what you say to them." "I've never listened to George Carlin," Luna replied. "You absolutely should. His philosophy is very much in vogue in our group, along with Frank Zappa, not to mention ancient Greek philosophers and Enlightenment thinkers. We also talk about religion, including Eastern religions." "You know, if we invited Simone, Destinee, Shelly, Elena, Pete, Jack, Freddy, and Tom to your Hangout, you could get a good feel for if they'd blab about the party." "That's a good idea," I observed, though I hadn't figured out where we'd meet because Libby was going to go to my dad's Philosophy Club meetings. "You know what else is a good idea?" Luna asked, shifting and turning so she could straddle me. ————— {br} 🎤 Steve {br} "There's a shower in the bathroom there to rinse off," I said. "It's really only big enough for one, so you'll need to take turns. Isabella, you can come upstairs with me or wait, whichever you prefer. Yuriko and Natalie will use their shower." "Uhm…" Isabella hemmed and hawed. "Just a rinse in the shower," I said. "I wasn't implying anything more." "There is no safer person on the planet than Steve," Natalie said. "He means it." Isabella nodded tentatively, we grabbed our clothes, then she followed the three of us up the stairs. Rather than go to my room, I walked to the Playroom, to avoid breaking any marital rules. I shut the door to the kitchen behind us, and walked straight to the bathroom, putting my clothes on the vanity, with Isabella following suit. "You can go first if you want, and I'll wait in the other room, or I can go first, and you can either stay or wait in the other room." "You'd really just drop your towel in front of me like it was nothing?" she asked. "The answer is a nuanced 'yes' — I would, but not if it made you uncomfortable. That's why I offered the options I did." "And you'd expect reciprocity?" "Expect? No. That's up to you. What Natalie said about being safe is absolutely true — nothing happens that makes you uncomfortable or that you don't want to do." "I was positive you would suggest showering together," Isabella said. "I did think it, but given the totality of the circumstances, I felt it was inappropriate to say it, so I didn't." "Most guys would at least try, especially after what Audrey said before!" "First of all, I'm not most guys. Second, a desire to do a thing is neither a compulsion nor a promise to do it. Third, Audrey revealed something private which she should not have revealed, and it would be uncouth to act on it." "Are you for real?" Isabella asked. "I am. Unless you object, I'll go first. You can stay or not, it's your call, and staying does not mean you give me permission to stay when you shower. You have to tell me it's OK." "This isn't an act to try to seduce me?" "It's not an act. Whether it's seductive or not is irrelevant. I'm going to turn on the shower, wait ten seconds, then get in." I did as I'd said, and it didn't surprise me when Isabella didn't leave the bathroom. Of course, it wouldn't have surprised me if she'd left, either, as I had no idea what she wanted to do, if anything. I quickly rinsed off under the tepid spray, which helped cool me down, then stepped out, grabbing a towel from the rack to dry myself. I made a silent bet with myself that she wouldn't ask me to leave, and I won it when she dropped her towel, revealing a well-toned and sexy body. I didn't avert my eyes taking in both her neatly trimmed black pubic hair, her small, firm breasts, and her tight butt. I finished drying myself and decided the best option was to wrap the towel around myself and wait to see what happened, as either standing naked or dressing sent messages I didn't feel were appropriate to send. Isabella got out of the shower, grabbed a towel, and quickly dried herself. then stood facing me, the towel held in front of her, covering her from collarbones to knees. "You want to, right?" she asked quietly. "That's not the correct question," I replied. "The correct question is do _you_ want to. If you do, then it's up to me to say 'yes' or 'no'. Your decision shouldn't be based on mine." "Do you seriously expect me to believe that if I drop the towel and say I want to do what Audrey suggested, you might say 'no'?" "Whether you believe it or not, that is absolutely possible." "This is what Natalie was referring to, isn't it?" "Confounding expectations is part of what we call the 'mindfuck'. The entire point is to get you off balance and force you to think things through, not simply do what's expected or what social convention says you should do. And the situation is complex, and I would need to be sure you thought through the ramifications." "Which ones?" 'Having sex with a married man who is nearly forty, for starters. In the moment it might seem to be a good idea, but will you regret it tomorrow? Or next week? Or next year?" "How can I know what I'll think a year from now?" "You can't. The question comes down to whether you're prepared to deal with the regret if it arises. If not, don't do it. Another consideration is how you feel about me telling my wives about the encounter, because the price of freedom, as it were, is full disclosure. And there's one more consideration. Have you seen _Risky Business_?" "Duh! It's classic Chicago like _The Blues Brothers_ and _Ferris Bueller's Day Off_! Why?" "Miles, despite mostly being full of shit, teaches Joel an important principle in _Risky Business_. Do you remember it?" "It's not 'Princeton can use a man like Joel' because that's the Admissions guy." "The principle is this — _If you can't say it, you can't do it_." "You mean what Audrey said?" "As an example, but it could also be understood as making an affirmative statement or making a clear request. Words have power that thoughts can never, ever have. The myth around summoning demons is apropos — saying their secret name gives you power over them. In the same way, saying something out loud gives it power and manifests it." "Are you _trying_ to confuse me?" "That's part of the point of the 'mindfuck' — to force you to think about things you've never thought about and never realized, and to think in ways you've never thought before. Let me put it this way; which is more powerful - thinking you love someone or telling them?" "Telling them." "Even if they know you think it?" Isabella smiled, "Got it! Vocalizing something makes it real in a way that thinking it could never do. What about writing?" "Also powerful, but spoken words are even more powerful. Reading a speech by a great orator is not the same as hearing it. A great orator can move people in ways the written word never, ever can. That said, the written word has its own power, which we acknowledge with the aphorism 'the pen is mightier than the sword'. That's true, but spoken words put both to shame." "That makes sense." "We have conversations like this at our Philosophy Club meetings. Imagine a room full of people doing this." "Naked?" Isabella smirked. "We've actually done that. It was early on, and was done to prove to everyone that nudity and sex do not HAVE to go together." Of course, in that case, it had led to Elizabeth offering to help Ben with his raging erection which, in the fullness of time, had led to them having a baby together. "Don't guys get hard?" "Initially, yes, but had we used the sauna naked, I wouldn't have. Brad might have, but once you're used to it, it doesn't happen because you've broken the social conditioning that being naked means you are about to have sex. We could be having this conversation naked, get dressed, and go about our business. That's normal; what society says is 'normal' is actually not. That's even acknowledged in the book of Genesis when Adam and Eve were naked and weren't self-conscious until after they broke the rule God had set for the tree." "Hang on! You believe that?" "It depends on what you mean. There are spiritual and philosophical truths taught in Genesis which are true irrespective of whether or not God created the world in six days, formed both Adam and Eve from the dust of the ground or formed her from his side, and a talking serpent who is not identified as Satan. So yes, I believe the truths taught there, even if I don't believe it's true." "Mind. Blown. Not just by that, but how easily and fluidly you answer and ask questions." "Our Philosophy Club has met regularly for most of the past twenty years, though we called it a 'rap session' initially." "You know Audrey is going to think we're doing it, right?" Isabella asked. "Who cares what Audrey thinks?! She shouldn't have violated your confidence in that way, and I'll discuss it with her. In fact, I'll make that the topic for tomorrow's impromptu session. I won't use names, but she'll know it's her. And, if it's something you do want to do, it doesn't have to be today. You can wait until Audrey goes home and we can get together sometime in January. You're also welcome to come to Philosophy Club. I'll make sure you know the days. You can also decide you don't want to do it and still come to Philosophy Club. The two have nothing to do with each other." "You are the strangest guy I've ever met! And I mean that in a positive way." "You aren't the first one to notice that. The ball is in your court now. We can dress and rejoin the others, or you can drop the towel and ask me for what you want." Isabella was silent for a few seconds, then let her towel fall away.